Fragile Balance

The family unit is a vulnerable state of being.
Routine and repetition support a lifestyle that exists on a fine line between comfortable and out of control.
Many of us take a stable life for granted,
but you never know when the inevitability of change throws rhythm to the wind.


Kira is in the hospital tonight.
She needs to have her gall bladder out as soon as possible.
She should be alright.
But it's difficult to explain that to the kids.
It's even harder for baby Meer.


Meer is only a little more than nine months old and still nursing.
She has been especially attached to Kira; more so than the others.
But Kira is on medication that prohibits her from breastfeeding.
She is also in enough pain that it would be hard for her to take care of Meer,
though I know she could if she had to.
So Meer is with just me tonight, for the first time.
She's sleeping now, but when she wakes, she'll be looking for something that I don't have.
I can keep her fed, but not with breast milk.
She cried herself to sleep this evening, but it was a different cry than I have ever heard from her.
She can have a very insistent cry, but tonight, she knew Kira wasn't here.
The crying was more forlorn and mournful.


It takes teamwork to run a family and a farm.
We barely get everyone fed on a normal day.
With one less pair of hands, making sure that all of the animals are cared for will be tough.
My Dad lives next door to us and he will take Auren and Fern tomorrow.
I can get a lot done with Meer on my back, so the chores will still be done.


I am not naive enough to believe that life will be predictable and free from sudden changes.
But there is always the hope that tragedy will avoid our lives.
I do firmly believe in Karma, in balance.
That there must be as much give as there is take.
I try not to ask for too much.


I am, however, praying that our life returns to normal within a few days.
Though I expect that there will be some lasting changes.
I serves us well to be reminded of our fragile existence;
so that we may pay closer attention to our loved ones,
and not take anything beloved for granted.